I remember how much I used to look up to you, sharpen myself just to be more close and more like you. Learning how to talk the way you talk; copying the step you walk, for the longest time your identity seems to be mine as well, I have put in all of my effort just hoping while we walk on the street together people can tell that we are together and compatible. Humbly, seeking for just a tiny bit of acceptance or even validation from you, which you never did; and we both know you will never do.
Dear, you are everything that I am dreaming about, I knew it. Even far before the day you broke into my life ruthlessly without any notice then you just gradually occupied all of my mind. People still make fun of me by saying how much I was being silly and naïve in this inequality of a relationship, they even tease saying I am essentially a victim just denying to face it, which I disagreed, and I couldn’t care less about what they think, overall they are not us. If there is anything that really bothered me it is that the fact how much you were misunderstood by all the others.
How can I ever forget the moment when I first found out you were looking at me, I was more than flattered, I couldn’t stop myself getting blushed under your gaze. Coming after, all of the compliments, gifts, passion and all of the best days you had given in my life, it was all because of you, you made it happen, I remember the first time we were lying in bed together and you looked into my eyes deeply and said you are going to look after me from now on. We both know it wasn’t a lie, even though I do feel a distance from you nowadays but I would wait I have patient and faith in you, sometimes I look back to the evidence of how much we have been through together, those details; those tracks of all of the memory and history which made two of us. It only makes me even more certain, that I have got no fear, and this is all what I deserve.
I know, I must have done something wrong to deserve a punishment.
Dear, could you please tell me what is it……